Science and Booze with Key to the Scriptures

I added a scientific approach to my drinking researches this weekend. When ticking pubs in the good book I've now got a rigorous scientific system, thanks to my mate Jim (a Surrey compleatist).

It's a simple binary system where pubs are scored one or zero in the following categories:

1. Sign
2. Building/Decor
3. Beer range
4. Beer quality
5. Staff
6. Atmosphere
7. Beard or Weird
8. Special feature
9. Loos
10. Would you make it your local?

This gives pubs an objective scientific score and removes the subjectivity that might otherwise creep in when rating pubs.

As ofter happens when on a pub crawl we had some bright ideas so tried out some new categories too:

• Does it have a fireplace?
• Does it have a beer garden?
• Thurston's Law (i.e. is it close to a church for ease of finding)

We were down Brighton way and after a health walk on the downs had some refreshment at The Greyhound in Keymer. This was a great pub, only a couple of beers on though so I had a pint of Harvey's Best.

Then we got the train into town and called in at the Evening Star, the birthplace of Dark Star brewery. As ever from Dark Star the beer (Partridge and Old Chestnut) was good, but I suspect a tad too cold. After a couple we moved on the the Cask Brighton where I had a stout from the loin enders and the lovely Lisa had a Magic Rock Rapture (or was it the other way round?)

Having seen how much places like this charge for scotch eggs (five bloody quid each!) we'd taken the precaution of eating some from Sainsbury's (85p for two) before getting there. Burger and chips was at the more normal pub meal rate of a tenner so we stopped for food, which was good but irritating.

Yes, very pretty but could I have a plate please?

Next it was on to The Pump House. Beer quality was not so good, but they did have a proper weirdo at the bar so it scored there.

After that we headed back to where we were staying, The Jack and Jill in Clayton. Sadly I can't rate it as by 9.30 pm they'd stopped serving food and shut. An inevitable consequence of pubs turning into restaurants I fear. Well, either that or they're a bunch of inbreds.

Anyway, here's the scores: