Sunday 17 January 2021

Brewdog's 10 biggest mistakes

After listening to the soft hitting interview on Radio 4 and reading capitalist brewery owner James Watt's humblebrag about his 10 biggest mistakes I got to wondering what are really Brewdog's 10 biggest mistakes?

I was an early fan of Brewdog, back in the day when I had to go to specialist beer shops to find their beers. I can remember when they first got a beer in a supermarket and I've watched their growth ever since. Having said that, I also went off Brewdog early on, once I realised they were twats. 

What first pissed me off can't really be called one of their biggest mistakes, as they've done very well out of it, but selling off a very small part of their company to their fans, and then selling off a larger chunk at a lower price to venture capitalists seemed an incredibly cynical move. 

Having tits on a beer bottle was definitely a mistake though, as it rapidly vanished from their website:


I don't remember them getting much flak for it, perhaps because they managed to hide it so quickly. But then  I don't remember them getting much flak for this one either:


Which is certainly as bad, if not worse, than that awful CAMRA young members' leaflet that had everyone up in arms.

The second biggest mistake I think they made was when they dobbed themselves in to the Portman group to generate some publicity. Putting the whole brewing industry at risk of greater regulation for their own personal gain is a dick move, even more so when they duped Zak Avery into writing stuff to support them. Arseholes. 

The general drivel about them being somehow different from any other bunch of capitalist bastards trying to separate you from your cash also grates, but it's hard to pin down a specific mistake as it permeates their marketing output. In fact, I can't be arsed to look any closer, or indeed keep going with singling out any of their many mistakes. Instead I'm going to try crowd sourcing rather than crowd funding. So here's your chance to see if we can get to 10 by putting in the comments what you think are Brewdog's biggest mistakes. 



Saturday 2 January 2021

#PubMan

 At school they may try and instil in you unlikely career ambitions or even more improbable sporting dreams, but I knew I had a higher calling. I was going to be a #PubMan. 

Daddy, where do you go in the evening?

A high powered job may give you some recognition in business circles and a fleeting sporting achievement may win you some ephemeral fame but do they give you the respect, admiration and overall satisfaction that comes with being a #PubMan? I think not. 

It is not an easy path to follow. As the years, and decades, have gone by I've kept plugging away, week in, week out, pint after pint. Slowly working my may up to regular status, and when I've moved or the pub's changed for the worse find a new local and starting again. But I've not let the setbacks demoralise me and when doubts have struck (should I have gone on more pub crawls? Is only every being a compleatist for one Good Beer Guide 'county' enough?) I've pressed on. And finally after the most difficult of years I've got the recognition sought for so long. I am a #PubMan. There is no higher accolade. I will walk, and drink, with my head held higher.