No one Ever Told Me About Chiron!

Back when I were a lad I memorised the names of all the planets. I don't use any of that fancy mnemonic malarkey, just the names in order from the sun:

• Mercury
• Venus
• Earth 
• Mars
• Jupiter
• Saturn 
• Uranus
• Neptune
• Pluto

Of course Pluto's been demoted since then but never mind, it'll always be a planet to me.

Back in those pre-internet days I was rather proud I'd crammed into my brain some facts that were occasionally of use. So I was rather distressed when browsing though a dictionary of science to see an entry for Chiron describing it as a "minor planet". "No one ever told me about Chiron!" I cried, appalled that my teachers had been withholding information from me. I soon learnt that teachers are often economical with the facts, so much so that I shortened "No one ever told me about Chiron" to the acronym of NETMAC as it was a lot less effort.

This all came back to me when I saw Thornbridge had brought out a beer called Chiron. Presumably they had a similar experience at school and wanted to publicise the fact.

It took me ages to track a bottle down, eventually I saw it in Cobbetts Real Ale. It's an American pale ale, so as you would expect, lots of citrussy hops, and it went down very nicely. I'd happily drink it again.

Kipling Groove

This is not, as might be expected on a beer blog, a post about having a good time with a plentiful supply of Thornbridge beer. This one is about climbing.

On Saturday I got up Kipling Groove (HVS 5a), a classic route on Gimmer Crag in Langdale that I've been keen to climb for years. It was first climbed by Arthur Dolphin, who called the route Kipling as it was "ruddy 'ard"! I wouldn't disagree, as the top pitch was strenuous and sustained.

Traditionally a celebratory beer should have been had at the ODG but it was getting late when I got down from the crag and I wanted my dinner. Rest assured though, a pint or three did find its way down my neck that night.

The Evening Star, Brighton

I got down to Brighton yesterday. It was a lovely sunny day, but the highlight was getting out of the sun and into a pub. I've long been a fan of the Dark Star brewery so a trip to the Evening Star was long overdue.

As well as Dark Star beers on draught there were guest cask beers and a wide range of bottled beers for those foolish enough to drink them. I stuck to the hand pumps of course, supping American Pale Ale (4.7% ABV), Crouch Vale Brewers Gold (4% ABV) and Thornbridge/Odell Colorado Red at the dangerously strong 5.9% ABV. I should have stuck to the weaker stuff though as I liked the Brewers Gold best.

It's a great pub and very handy for the station so further beer research in Brighton is definitely called for.

Bye Kelly Ryan!

Not that I've ever met you. But I have drunk some of your beers.

The Cask pub and kitchen, Pimlico

For Easter we went to the Cask pub and kitchen in Pimlico. There's been a bit of a buzz on the internet about this pub so I was keen to check it out. Particularly as the lovely Lisa had already been there on a day off whilst I was slaving away over a hot mash tun. 

It's in the grottier end of Pimlico, being stuck on the corner of some 70s flats. Inside it has the look of a canteen about it, bright and airy but no cosy nooks and crannies here. Not the sort of pub I'll normally seek out to be honest.

There are what looks like a good range of keg and bottled beers on offer for those that care about such things. Personally I don't, so I'll move swiftly on. There were  a two each from Thornbridge and Darkstar on the hand pumps and well as couple from other breweries. Thornbrige are interesting but I've not always been taken with their beers so I started on a Darkstar Hophead and the lovely Lisa went for the American Pale Ale. 

Both beers were good but we reckon the Hophead had the edge as there was a hint of wet dog about the American Pale Ale. 

Moving on to Thornbridge next, they didn't disappoint this time and both the grapefruit flavoured Kipling and the sweet brown ale Ashford were on form. Sadly the Big bunny beer I had from Brentwood wasn't,  oh well you can't have everything. 

Our recently converted mate Dan had a few pints of a cask stout whose name now escapes me (sorry for the terrible beer nerd failure there) before having some German keg lager and wheat beers. The keg beers did make him feel a bit bloated though and he now fears there may be no going back! 

We had a Sunday roast, which was good, before working our way back to Waterloo. We had a couple of stops for refreshments along the way. Nothing of note though, as one of the pubs was a Fuller's pub that didn't have anything special on for cask ale week, so sadly no draught 1845 for me and the other was a Badger's pub and I've never really liked their beers as they're too flowery for my taste. 

The IPA challenge second bout: Jaipur Vs Punk IPA

Two beers from the New Wave of British Heavy Metal, I mean the New Wave of American inspired British Breweries line up for the next bout. Or if NWOBHM's not you thing, the brewing world's Stones and Beatles apparently.

Despite the superficial similarities, both being from similar training camps and in stingy little bottles, at the weigh in it started to look like a potential miss match. The punk was over filled*, not something I'd normally complain about but possibly suggesting a problem with the bottling line at Brewdog. In this game if you haven't prepared properly your weaknesses will be painfully exposed once you step into the ring. 

Punk IPA (6% ABV) steps up to the canvas, looking brash and in your face, any doubts about the bottling clearly not affecting their confidence. Jaipur (5.9% ABV) is looking more subdued, perhaps feeling the pressure. 

Seconds away and caps off the bout is on. Jaipur has a bit more aroma, though surprisingly malty. Punk smelling a bit harsh, reminiscent of a lemon toilet duck.  

They come together for the first sip and and, oh my god, the Jaipur is totally overwhelmed. It's been caught flat footed! Well, not so much flat footed as just plain flat. It just hasn't got the conditioning, and in this game if you don't put in the time on the road work you won't last five seconds in the ring. The Jaipur hops are nowhere to be seen and just a sweet maltiness is present in the taste. Punk may smell a bit rough round the edges but with the wallop of grapefruit it packs into its pale body it knocks the Jaipur out cold.

But what's this? the second, Kipling (5.2% ABV), has popped its top and is climbing into the ring. It must think it's a medieval duel! This is disgraceful, the referee is stepping in but the Punk looks up for it and is squaring up. It could be a rash decision on the part of Kipling, and it's giving away a weight advantage. The Kipling flicks out a tentative aroma but it's putting on a poor show compared to when it was seen on cask only a few months ago. Again we just get flat bland sweetness form the Thornbidge boy which is easy dispatched by the fighter from Fraserburgh. 

It may seemed the Brewdog bottling line could cause problems but it's the in the Thornbridge camp that the questions will be asked tonight. They're really going to have to put some work in to make a come back after this performance. 

A win for Punk IPA by knock out. 

*Embossed on the bottom of bottles is their capacity in ml and the distance from the top the bottle needs to be filled to reach it. Not a lot of people know that.

Pukka pints in Paddington

We managed to track down Fuller's latest take on IPA last night. Heading up to Paddington we went to the excellent Victoria for some Bengal Lancer and very good it was too. The beer was smooth and hoppy with plenty of body.



The second pint tasted even better, but at 5% ABV we were a bit worried we were guzzling too quickly. We had steak and Guinness pies with mash to help soak up the drink. Quite why the pie was made with Guinness when you can buy steak and ale pies made with Fuller's Golden Pride in my local Waitrose I don't understand but there you go. 


See

After eating it was time to stretch our legs so we wandered on to the Cleveland Arms. 



This is a run down looking boozer that looks like an old fashioned locals pub, complete with dart board and pool table. We were ordering pints of Harvey's Best when I spotted bottles of White Shield stacked up behind the bar. We've been trying to track this down since reading Pete Brown's Hops and Glory. A couple of bottles to take home were purchased and bag carrying duty passed over to me. Free peanuts were provided in this pub but after a brief conversation about the (admittedly dubious) stories about how many types of urine could be found on pub peanuts we decided to passed on them. Unbeknown to us these peanuts would cause problems later.   

Next stop was the Leinster Arms. This had the look of a chain pub about it, being owned by M&B, but the beer selection was good.




And they had jugs to serve the beer in which got me all excited. 


The lovely Lisa showing off her jugs.

There were some old beer adverts stuck up on the wall which I always find fascinating.


They knew how to name beers in those days.

One of them showed a beer with kola nuts as an ingredient.



I wonder if it tasted anything like Brewdog's Dogma?



A sign in the pub toilet let them down though, being microbiologically incorrect (Legionella is of course a bacterium). I tried not to let such a shocking scientific lapse upset me.

As Pratt's Celebrated Invalid Stout wasn't on sale we had Thornbridge Kipling, a very hoppy beer flavoured with the latest hip hop Nelson sauvin (Cascade is sooo noughties). Good stuff it was too but at 5.2% ABV our alcohol levels were pushed even up further so it was time to move on.

Our next port of call was a Young's pub, the Mitre.



I'm not generally keen on Young's beers but the Winter Warmer was on, an old style Burton ale which goes down very nicely. Lisa was slowing down at this point so only had a half and I decided to get in touch with my feminine side by doing the same. The Mitre's a rambling pub with lots of nooks and crannies where we found a sofa to sit on and delicately sip our halves. 

Posters were up advertising a meal deal with wine, which seems to confirm my suspicion that all the efforts at promoting beer and food pairing have got absolutely nowhere.



Lastly we staggered on back to the Victoria for more Bengal Lancer before heading home. We managed to get a seat in one of their upstairs rooms called the library which looked like somewhere out of a gentleman's club. We'll definitely be back here. 

We felt a bit grotty this morning, despite our modest intake (I mean, sometimes we even drank halves!). As green crisps or dodgy peanuts are the most common cause of feeling bad after a night out on the lash we wracked our brains for where we might have eaten anything we shouldn't have but drew a blank. Then I remembered the bowl of peanuts on our table in the Cleveland Arms. Though we didn't touch them I have no doubt we are now suffering from passive peanuts. I would urge the government and press to do everything they can to publicise these dangers, and surely further measure such as minimum pricing are necessary to protect us from this menace. 

The White Horse, Parsons Green

I went up to London at the weekend, not to get to the GBBF, but to see a mate. The lovely Lisa had spotted many pubs were making an effort with their ales to coincide with the GBBF though, and we managed to take advantage of this.

The fact that this was the only weekend the Old Mitre is open tempted us, but as our friend lives in walking distance of the White Horse in Parsons Green that made more sense.

The pub was packed out when we got there but they had plenty of bar staff so it didn’t take long to get served. Popularly known as the Sloney Pony most of the clientele did look posher than what you find in your average boozer. Apart from the woman who’d dressed up as a Thai prostitute that is. Or so my friends who’ve been to Thailand tell me, my interest in Thailand only goes as far as the boxing of course. 

The pub has long had a reputation for serving good beer, even in the days when it was a Bass pub. Its particular claim to fame was that it employed a full time cellar man and I once had a trip with the Craft Brewing Association to visit the cellar. I can't say much more about that as we got to visit the bar too and they had a barley wine on draught. I've no doubt that I was briefly very knowledgeable about cellarmanship until my memory dissolved in alcohol though. 

There was a good range of beers on offer, tending towards the more unusual. Never having seen Fraoch heather ale on cask I had to give that a go and the lovely Lisa went for something herb flavoured from Thornbridge. Both tasted a bit funny, not 'funny ha ha' more 'that's funny this tastes a bit crap'. After that Lisa retreated to the safety of a pint of Harvey's bitter whilst I went to no hops to more than you could shake a stick at with a Dark Star Hophead Extra. 

The Hophead Extra was a cracker, very much in the American IPA style and not the sort of thing you often see on cask. It had huge taste of citrussy hops and more alcohol than it is sensible to drink by the pint.



I'm glad I had it as after that we moved on to a Spanish restaurant where the beer was nothing worth mentioning, so I won't.

 

Beers in Borough and beyond

On Saturday I went back up to London to meet a mate, and of course get in some beers whilst I was there.


Borough Market

I cunningly arranged it so the first stop would be Borough Market so I could get some supplies from Utobeer. They have a large selection but it's not the most user friendly place. Their website is pretty hopeless so you can't plan what you want in advance, and most of the beers don't have prices on so you don't know how much you're spending until you get to the till. Back when Safeway's was the place to shop for exciting beers I once ended up buying two bottles of Dogfish head world wide stout at £7 because the price wasn't on display. OK, I had to have that beer but I'd probably only have bought one bottle if I'd known how much it cost! I ended up buying five bottles from Utobeer and it cost about £12.50, so around £2.50 a bottle. Pricey, particularly as they were 330ml bottles, but acceptable for a beer nerd like myself. They probably wouldn't let them sell anything cheaper in borough market anyway. Despite the name you don't get people shouting "bananas a pahnd a pahnd" here, it's all luxury food stalls.


The Market Porter

Whilst I'd been at Utobeer the lovely Lisa and my mates had gone straight to the Market Porter, a large pub with a large beer range. Lisa had made an excellent choice and got me a pint of Acorn Brewery's Quantum. This was a pale hoppy beer which went down a treat. We decided to stay for another here and off went Dan with an order for more of the same. I was a bit miffed when I went to help him carry the beers back to see that Thornbrige's Lord Marples was on. Thornbridge are an exciting brewery and I hadn't tried this one before. The beer gods were with me though as the Quantum must have reached the end of the barrel as it had gone very murky. It was swiftly sent back and I got to have a Lord Marples, a brown bitter tasting of chocolate malt, after all.

We had a slight detour before the next pub as from where we'd been in the Market Porter we could see a cheese shop where free samples were being given away. The free samples worked too as Dan bought twenty quids worth of cheese.

Next pub was the George, a lovely looking historic coaching inn. Sadly the beers were Greene King so we didn't stay for long. I had a 4% George Inn ale which tasted pretty like most other Greene King ales. I've a strong suspicion that Greene King high gravity brew, making a strong beer for later dilution, as they have a selection of very similar tasting beers across a range of strengths.


The George Inn

After that we went to another favourite of ours: the Blackfriar. We were passed by a weird pedal powered bus on the way there. 


A weird pedal powered bus

To my regret I didn't go for the Timothy Taylor's Landlord (it was my downfall last time) but had a rather boring Sharp's Doombar. The excellent meat platter soon took my mind off the dull beer though and before long it was time to move on again.


Lisa getting the beers in in the Blackfriar

Despite the excellent research the lovely Lisa had done in selecting pubs we decided to use psychogeography to find the next one and just have a wander. We passed some gates decorated with what looked like English nationalist sheep with halos. It's beyond my understanding.


Englands St Sheep?

Soon after it seemed the beer gods were still smiling (or was it St Sheep?) as we found ourselves outside the Devereux. This is a pub Lisa had selected for our last weekday pub crawl but we never managed to get that far. It's normally shut at the weekend but the beer gods had obviously decreed that a party would be held there on Saturday so it was open when we arrived. The beer range was a bit dull so I had an Adnam's Broadside. It's a was a bit strong for this stage of the evening really but it's a lovely dark beer with plenty of hops and I couldn't resist. The  pub was nice too, with wonky glass in the windows to match our wonky brains. 


Wonky windows

Things start getting a little hazy after that. We went to somewhere to get some food but it was full so we went somewhere else where we had some Spanish food and San Miguel. Neither were particularly memorable which is probably for the best. Then it was time to stagger back and pour ourselves home.


Somewhere else

The hangover was particularly stinking this morning, I blame it on the lager.