The results are now in and they shockingly reveal a crisis of craft beer in Britain. Over 70% of voters don't know who John fucking Kimmich is, despite there being a link to Total Ales where this all important information is disclosed. This shows an almost wilful levels of ignorance, as if people don't even care! This sorry state of affairs shows that even most beer geeks are no better than Wetherspoons drinkers, and therefore unworthy of craft beer.
As trying to spread information has clearly failed I will have to resort to direct action. I've knocked on the head all my plans for the GBBF tomorrow and will now be touring the foreign beer bars armed with a cattle prod to drive anyone can't answer the all important question back to the boring brown bitter bars where they belong. It may seem harsh but you've left me no choice.